Crowded Thoughts
I’m coming back from Starbucks after picking up my free coffee (earth day promotion) the music is playing very loud–
Never let them see you down smile while you bleeding –
My mind is crowded with silly thoughts. At the stop light, the dude next to me is dancing to the beat of my music – or is he?
The light turns green and there is a woman driving next to me – deep in thought. I wonder what she is thinking, and I wonder why she is alone driving, then I remember I’m driving alone – then my thought about nothing is interrupted by the song…
to my man currently in prison
I can’t speak your name
It hurt me that you never listened
It cant be the same
I had to grow my intuition
Had me deep in pain
I wonder who is in prison, and I remember me, right now, imprisoned by thoughts I cannot control – driving only with intuition, not really thinking and filled with thoughts – thoughts I don’t want, thoughts about nothing. I shake my head left to right wanting to unshackle myself from thought, but it seems to wrap them around me, hugging me – now I cannot shake them anymore they have me snagged – tight.
There is a woman walking on the side walk – rhythmically. She is dancing to her own beat – or to the beat of life. There is nothing on her head: no head phones just smile on her face. Why is she so happy? Is she imprisoned by different kind of thought? May be she is filled with euphony of life. Is my mind playing tricks on me? I thought she was dancing – dancing to the beat in her head, but she is just walking.. WTF
I decided to focus on the music. I turned it up even louder…
war is no place for a child
especially if he’s rollin’ with an AK and a smile
he had witnessed his own mother bloody in a towel
but please, please, please, please
never let’em see you down
smile while you bleedin’
Still the same song? I realize I have it on repeat. I started thinking about the music. Why do I feel it so much, why does it touch me so much? How does he expect the child to smile while he witnessed what he witnessed? I always say good songs speak my silences. If my silences are filled with such tragedy then, may be it is good I’m chained by these thoughts. Then I smile, remembering I still am thinking not listening to the music.
Thank God, I’m back at the house… Once in the house, I remember I didn’t turn the volume down, and someone is going to take my car to pick up my daughters. I hope he has healthy heart…
